As my final fieldwork is drawing to a close
with just a few weeks left, it is starting to hit me more and more about the
decisions I must make. Where do I work? What am I called to do in this season?
It is absolutely scary not to know what my life holds after December. I like
having plans. I like knowing what is coming and how to prepare.
A lot of times in life, people say, “God shuts and opens doors for
where you need to go.” I believe this is true, I mean scripture states it in
Revelations 3:7-8:
“These are the words of him
who is holy and true, who holds the key of David. What he opens no one can
shut, and what he shuts no one can open. I know your deeds. See, I have
placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have
little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name.”
But I also believe that it is easy to assume
that a door is shut because we aren’t willing or “not ready” to walk through
it. And in those cases I love the quote from Bob Goff’s book “Love Does” that
says “I used to think God guided
us by opening and closing doors, but now I know sometimes God wants us to kick
some doors down.” Sometimes we really have to push and test doors to find
out the will of God.
I think about the next few months and think about all the
possibilities in front of me. Sometimes the thought creeps into my head that
whispers “You are too young to backpack
Europe, to be a traveling therapist, to minister to people.” And my humanness
wants to back down and say, “I know…I
think I’ll just stay where I’m comfortable.” But using the living,
breathing Word of God, I fight back, “Do
not let people (including myself) look down on you because you are young. But
set an example for the believers in love, in life, in speech, in faith, and in
purity” (1 Timothy 4:12).
When I ask myself what my goals are, there are recurring
themes. Jesus. Travel. Love people. I don’t know the hows, the whats, the
whens, the wheres, or the whys.
Matthew 28:16-20 talks about the Great Commission.
“Then the eleven disciples
went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go.
When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. Then
Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven
and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make
disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the
Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And
surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
I love how He says “ALL authority in heaven
AND on earth has been given to me.” Since Jesus lives in me, when I am doing
His will, I have that authority too. If I am doing what I need to do, money (or
lack of it) can’t stop me. Lack of time can’t stop me. People can’t stop me.
I
always say that “I’m not called to be a long-term missionary.” If I explain
myself well, I clarify that I don’t feel called to any one country to live and
love people. But in reality, I am called to be a long-term missionary. My life
should be a constant opportunity to love people. Whether I’m living in
Pennsylvania, Alaska, backpacking in Europe, whatever I’m doing. Jesus in me.
As I pray and seek direction, pray for me
please. Pray that I have the courage and confidence in Christ to take risks.
Pray that I am listening for whatever God is saying to me. Pray that my current
path would be clear. That just when I need to make a decision, doors open,
doors close, or that I push through and bust down the doors I need to go
through. But most of all, pray that I would keep loving and seeking God’s will
for my life. No matter the cost. (It seriously scares me to type those words.)
But my hope and trust is in the Lord, my God. I know that incredible things
will happen as I walk out my faith. That I will see things I have only dreamed
about. That I will say words that only God could have put in my mouth. And that
I will love people with a mind-blowing, extraordinary love. All because I am
making the choice to be a vessel of the Lord.
As I’ve been writing this, I’ve had the song
“Already There” by Casting Crowns on replay. When I am feeling scared,
overwhelmed, or discouraged, I listen to this song because it reminds me that He
Knows. He sees the whole picture. He is already there.
“From where I'm standing
Lord, it's so hard for me to see
Where this is going
And where You're leading me
I wish I knew how
All my fears and all my questions
Are gonna play out
In a world I can't control
Oh, oh
Chorus:
When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there
Oh, oh, oh, oh
From where You're standing
Lord, You see a grand design
That You imagined
When You breathed me into life
And all the chaos
Comes together in Your hands
Like a masterpiece
Of Your picture perfect plan
(Chorus)
One day I'll stand before You
And look back on the life I've lived
I can't wait to enjoy the view
And see how all the pieces fit (x2)
One day I'll stand before You
And look back on the life I've lived
Cause You're already there
You're already there
(Chorus)
You are already there.”
“Decide…whether
or not the goal is worth the risks involved. If it is, stop worrying…” –Amelia Earhart
Comments
Post a Comment