I like nice square packages tied up with bows, no loose ends or mismatched wrapping.
I try to keep my life and brain like that too - compartmentalized, planned, thought out, sorted, no unresolved conflicts.
When I picked my yearly theme at the beginning of this year "Wait Expectantly," I had no idea how much God would stretch my trust and faith. How He would ask me to let the loose ends lie and not to fret about unresolved things. How He would ask me to embrace the messy, spontaneous life.
If you've ever painted with watercolor (or know anything about the temperament of watercolor), you know that no matter how much you try to keep the colors in their places, the water draws them together and out of the boundary lines. As messy as the process seems, watercolor pictures always end up looking beautiful.
It makes me think of Jesus himself when He was on earth. Isaiah 53:2 says, "He didn't have an impressive form or majesty that we should look at Him, no appearance that we should desire Him."
Yet His gift to the world was beyond what we could conceive or imagine. He brought forgiveness and wisdom. He taught, ate with, and loved His disciples and friends.
The things Jesus keeps giving me this year are like that too - unexpected, lumpy packages on the outside, but amazing, desirable gifts on the inside. But in order to have my hands empty to receive these Jesus gifts, I need to be willing to lay down the nice square packages of my expectations. There have been times this year that I cried, fighting what He wanted to do because I didn't know what the end result would be. There have been times that I laughed my way through the process.
There have been times I got the nice square "EXPECTATION" package, and I was disappointed.
It goes back to what I wrote at the beginning of the year, "I will wait expectantly for God to act - knowing that He WILL act, and not worrying about HOW He will act."
One big example of this in my life lately has been that since last year, I have been planning and preparing to be traveling to work in a park (I really wanted to go to Glacier National Park!!) this summer. I've wanted to do it for a long time and thought that it would be an awesome way to spend my summer. First, I took action. I started saving up money to cover my summer bills, I applied to parks, and I kept my summer calendar open (aside from 2 important things I refuse to miss). Then, I waited. And waited. And waited. And didn't hear back from any of the jobs. I started to stress, and be disappointed, and kept bugging God like a two-year-old with, "Why?"
As I kept praying and reflecting, I looked back on key moments of my life. There's a trend. Right as I get to a deadline (real or imagined), right when I'm absolutely freaking out for not having a concise plan, God does something totally unexpected. Like when I went from having no job as a new grad to having a job, an apartment, and a church to go to in Las Vegas -- a place I have never considered (or even cared about) living in the first place. And that experience became one of the biggest blessings in my life.
As I reflected, it helped me refocus back on Jesus and just walking life with Him and trusting that He's got my back. As of last Friday, I had two weeks until summer started, no summer plans for work or travel. Then within a few days, I had a totally unexpected trip booked, and some odd jobs lined up.
He provides. He blesses. He knows what in the world He's doing because He holds the world in His hand.
I recently listened to a Shawn Bolz teaching, and something he said really hit me - "We always think 'God works everything for the good of those that love Him' (Philippians 4:8) [but really] He doesn't unless you put your mind and your spirit into a place of focus. Because even when He is working it for your good, you won't see it when you have a negative, critical mindset."
I love this and was challenged by it. The key to life is keeping my mind and my spirit focused on Jesus.
Ask yourself:
1. What are some specific ways that God has been faithful to me in the past?
2. Am I consistently practicing an attitude of gratefulness?
3. Am I acting on things that I need to act on?
4. Am I taking time to reflect, deal with, and move on?
5. What is something I did not expect (or neccessarily want) that turned out to be a huge blessing in my life?
"Expectation is the root of all heartache." - William Shakespeare
I try to keep my life and brain like that too - compartmentalized, planned, thought out, sorted, no unresolved conflicts.
When I picked my yearly theme at the beginning of this year "Wait Expectantly," I had no idea how much God would stretch my trust and faith. How He would ask me to let the loose ends lie and not to fret about unresolved things. How He would ask me to embrace the messy, spontaneous life.
If you've ever painted with watercolor (or know anything about the temperament of watercolor), you know that no matter how much you try to keep the colors in their places, the water draws them together and out of the boundary lines. As messy as the process seems, watercolor pictures always end up looking beautiful.
It makes me think of Jesus himself when He was on earth. Isaiah 53:2 says, "He didn't have an impressive form or majesty that we should look at Him, no appearance that we should desire Him."
Yet His gift to the world was beyond what we could conceive or imagine. He brought forgiveness and wisdom. He taught, ate with, and loved His disciples and friends.
The things Jesus keeps giving me this year are like that too - unexpected, lumpy packages on the outside, but amazing, desirable gifts on the inside. But in order to have my hands empty to receive these Jesus gifts, I need to be willing to lay down the nice square packages of my expectations. There have been times this year that I cried, fighting what He wanted to do because I didn't know what the end result would be. There have been times that I laughed my way through the process.
There have been times I got the nice square "EXPECTATION" package, and I was disappointed.
It goes back to what I wrote at the beginning of the year, "I will wait expectantly for God to act - knowing that He WILL act, and not worrying about HOW He will act."
One big example of this in my life lately has been that since last year, I have been planning and preparing to be traveling to work in a park (I really wanted to go to Glacier National Park!!) this summer. I've wanted to do it for a long time and thought that it would be an awesome way to spend my summer. First, I took action. I started saving up money to cover my summer bills, I applied to parks, and I kept my summer calendar open (aside from 2 important things I refuse to miss). Then, I waited. And waited. And waited. And didn't hear back from any of the jobs. I started to stress, and be disappointed, and kept bugging God like a two-year-old with, "Why?"
As I kept praying and reflecting, I looked back on key moments of my life. There's a trend. Right as I get to a deadline (real or imagined), right when I'm absolutely freaking out for not having a concise plan, God does something totally unexpected. Like when I went from having no job as a new grad to having a job, an apartment, and a church to go to in Las Vegas -- a place I have never considered (or even cared about) living in the first place. And that experience became one of the biggest blessings in my life.
As I reflected, it helped me refocus back on Jesus and just walking life with Him and trusting that He's got my back. As of last Friday, I had two weeks until summer started, no summer plans for work or travel. Then within a few days, I had a totally unexpected trip booked, and some odd jobs lined up.
He provides. He blesses. He knows what in the world He's doing because He holds the world in His hand.
I recently listened to a Shawn Bolz teaching, and something he said really hit me - "We always think 'God works everything for the good of those that love Him' (Philippians 4:8) [but really] He doesn't unless you put your mind and your spirit into a place of focus. Because even when He is working it for your good, you won't see it when you have a negative, critical mindset."
I love this and was challenged by it. The key to life is keeping my mind and my spirit focused on Jesus.
How do I apply what I've learned?
1. I work really hard on keeping an attitude of gratefulness. No matter what. "Thank you Jesus that even though my car is 18 years old, has hundreds of thousands of miles on it, and drives me crazy sometimes with its quirkiness, that I have a car that works and has taken me on many adventures, and gets me from point A to point B." It seems silly on a human level, but in the spiritual realm, gratefulness is currency! It lifts my attitude up to Jesus and off of me. It refocuses me on what's important.
2. I take time to reflect. I let myself "feel all the feels" - the good, the bad, and the ugly. And then I deal with it and move on. I don't wallow in it. Recently, I felt hurt from a friend. I let myself feel hurt, and then I said, "Okay, now what am I going to do about it? Am I going to let this totally affect the friendship and make me miserable, or am I going to choose to let go of offense and keep loving my friend?"
3. I take action. Like this summer, I made plans and worked on taking action and applying. Some things are in our control that we need to do. We need to keep in mind that the outcome usually doesn't look like we expect it to.
4. I spend a lot of time talking to Jesus. I ask questions and talk to Him, I praise Him, and I take time to listen to Him.
5. I release my feelings of control and expectation back to Jesus. Daily. Hourly. Minutely.
1. What are some specific ways that God has been faithful to me in the past?
2. Am I consistently practicing an attitude of gratefulness?
3. Am I acting on things that I need to act on?
4. Am I taking time to reflect, deal with, and move on?
5. What is something I did not expect (or neccessarily want) that turned out to be a huge blessing in my life?
"Expectation is the root of all heartache." - William Shakespeare
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