How many times have I sat at a table or in a friend's home or in my home, sipping tea or coffee and listening and sharing truths and struggles and laughter and anger? Airing my dirt, so to speak.
At times, I'm the one leaving the dirty dishes behind - physically and metaphorically as I share my anxiousness at not being able to find a job, dream about my upcoming marriage, and navigate the waters of communication.
Other times I'm the one to put the coffee or tea water on and play hostess. I'm the one that hears the pain and desperation in my friend's voice and listens to the venting and processing taking place.
Learning to air our dirt is a process.
At times, I'm the one leaving the dirty dishes behind - physically and metaphorically as I share my anxiousness at not being able to find a job, dream about my upcoming marriage, and navigate the waters of communication.
Other times I'm the one to put the coffee or tea water on and play hostess. I'm the one that hears the pain and desperation in my friend's voice and listens to the venting and processing taking place.
Learning to air our dirt is a process.
When working with soil, there is a process called oxygenating.
"Like all living things, plants go through a respiration process requiring oxygen. Plants gather their oxygen from the soil rather than from the air. Soil lacking in oxygen drains poorly and produces bare plants with discolored leaves. Plant growth can slow and even stop if the plant roots are not receiving enough oxygen. Oxygenating, or aerating, the soil encourages root growth, improves the flow of oxygen and nutrients through the soil, and helps prevent runoff." - SFGATE website
As I read about the process of oxygenation, I couldn't help but see the resemblance to "airing our dirt" and being vulnerable. When we don't share and "air" deep things in our lives, our roots (our emotional and mental health) are affected. It can slow our personal growth and cause us to become stifled and stale. When we take time to air things and be vulnerable in close relationships, our root life flourishes. We grow and draw closer with ourselves and each other. We learn and we are challenged.
Being vulnerable is hard; sometimes tasting like a bitter or too hot coffee begging to be spit out.
In my life vulnerability has lately been looking like the following:
It's being honest about sin and sharing struggles.
It's practical love and asking for help even though we'd rather die doing it ourselves.
In my life vulnerability has lately been looking like the following:
It's being honest about sin and sharing struggles.
It's practical love and asking for help even though we'd rather die doing it ourselves.
It's offering forgiveness when our words cut a loved one.
It's saying, "I'm afraid and trembling but I'm showing up."
It's "I don't know"s and sometimes frustrated "I don't care"s.
It's sharing deep insecurities I have with Luis.
It's sharing deep insecurities I have with Luis.
It's the dirty dishes and unswept floors and the laying aside of pride for the sake of hospitality.
It's the ugly cries in the middle of crowded airports,
and the asking for help and questions to mentors.
It's scrambling for words in heartwrenching moments.
It's choosing forgiveness and hard love despite feeling hurt.
It's throwing ourselves wildly to the wind and embracing the wonderfully created messes we are.
It's showing our true selves, not knowing if rejection will be the result.
So, I'll embrace the dirty dishes and the vulnerability that comes with conversations over coffee, and hospitality in my home. I'll savor the delicious milky sips and the bitter, strong ones. I'll leave the dishes and I'll wash the dishes.
2 Corinthians 6:11-13 (The Message) states, "Dear, dear Corinthians, I can’t tell you how much I long for you to enter this wide-open, spacious life. We didn’t fence you in. The smallness you feel comes from within you. Your lives aren’t small, but you’re living them in a small way. I’m speaking as plainly as I can and with great affection. Open up your lives. Live openly and expansively!"
I love this passage of translation. I don't know about you, but I want a big, wide open life. But that requires me having awkward and hard and silly conversations. It requires small talk and deep talk and everything in between. It's sharing lives and sharing homes. This is what vulnerability is.
And what do we gain? An open life. A flourishing soul and root life. Spiritual growth that spills over into personal and professional growth.
Make a list of the ways you are vulnerable. Make a list of areas you need to be more vulnerable in. Be intentional in creating relationships with people.
"Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, accountability, and authenticity." - Brene Brown
I love this passage of translation. I don't know about you, but I want a big, wide open life. But that requires me having awkward and hard and silly conversations. It requires small talk and deep talk and everything in between. It's sharing lives and sharing homes. This is what vulnerability is.
And what do we gain? An open life. A flourishing soul and root life. Spiritual growth that spills over into personal and professional growth.
Make a list of the ways you are vulnerable. Make a list of areas you need to be more vulnerable in. Be intentional in creating relationships with people.
"Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, accountability, and authenticity." - Brene Brown
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