Mrs. Vanderhorst's Wedding Reflections

Photo credit: Abbie Britton

It’s officially the week after the wedding weekend and I am settling into wife life. I planned and pulled off an outdoor wedding of around 300 guests at my parents’ home with the help of many, many amazing friends and family members.

Let me preface this with, I was always worried I’d turn into a bridezilla because sometimes I can be a control freak out of fear. But praise Jesus that I took to heart the idea that “The bride sets the tone for the whole event” and I wanted a joyful celebration! This meant that I learned to extend incredible amounts of grace to myself in the process and just choose to lean into whatever was happening and just roll with it.

The Vision
There are millions of opinions and options for weddings, and if you don’t truly keep in mind what is REALLY important, it is easy to be overtaken by stress and other peoples’ expectations.

There were four details I’ve always wanted in my wedding: the man I love at the end of the aisle, daisies as my flowers, to get married in the woods (especially at my parents’ home), and my girls to wear navy. Add these details + the fact that I wanted the focus to be on Christ and Luis and I’s relationship with Him and you have an idea of my perfect wedding.

By keeping those four main things as my vision, I was able to make decisions faster and not sweat the small stuff. Round tables or rectangle tables? Whatever worked to get all the people I wanted to celebrate with there with me. What flowers to pair with daisies? I went to the woods and scavenged greens. Which two trees to make the natural trellis with? Whichever ones provide a greater field of vision for all the chairs. What will I do if it rains? I am getting married in the woods rain or shine. I refused to obsess over the weather and didn’t even check it. And on and on I answered questions and made decisions through the scope of my four main dreams.

Pinterest gave me ideas on how to use what I had to create eclectic table decorations. I wanted to use “found objects” – books, vases, nature, pictures, and other items that mom and I had laying around the house. Pairing these with greens and wood table numbers cut by my friend Tom and painted by my friend Meghan created the perfect table decorations for my woodland wedding.

By knowing what I really wanted, I was able to be flexible on other things and not stress over them. Also, tons of money does not need to go into weddings - get creative!

No Trees Were Harmed in the Making of My Ceremony
For as long as I can remember, I imagined getting married in the woods. There is a particular spot in my parents’ woods that is grassy with trees and bushes and rocks intermittently among it. Every time I looked around it, I could imagine how chairs or benches could fill the space, conforming to the shape of nature, going around the natural elements and creating a sacred space.

Weed whacking, mulching, picking up sticks, and mowing all took precedence for weeks as we fine-tuned the land for the wedding. Spring rains did their job and watered the earth – vivid greens painted across the woods and new life flourished.

The Friday before the ceremony, the girls and I were setting up chairs and I made sure that the chairs conformed to the natural elements like the trees and rocks in the ceremony location. It was pretty awesome to see how the trees became an audience to the wedding as well.

In my trees, where I always feel closer to the Creator, it was an honor to have my marriage covenant to Luis. I’m so thankful for my groom, who, although he couldn’t always see my vision in the woods, loved his bride enough to say “Yes, we can make this work!” and proceeded to weed whack the entire area for me.

In this whole wedding planning process, I've come to learn, I'm definitely a hippie, a.k.a. a nature freak. ;)

Unique Elements
We’ve heard over and over again, “This was such a unique wedding! There were so many things we had never seen before!” We took a lot of unique things and combined them.

Bilingual: I loved Spanish before I met Luis, traveling to South America increased that love, and then marrying into a Dominican family was the cherry on the top! Having a bilingual service meant that it was a true merging of two families and welcomed everyone, not to mention, Spanish is a beautiful language.
Worship: We picked several worship songs to include in our ceremony – “Freedom” – our declaration over ourselves, each other, and everyone there and “Recibe Todo la Gloria” – the recognition that God receives all the glory in our lives. We wanted these themes declared over our lives and covenant.
Communion: Communion is a good reminder of what brings unity to our relationship – Jesus Christ and his example of sacrifice.
Foot – washing: Jesus washed his disciples’ feet and Luis and I wanted to do it as an act of service to each other. Love isn’t just an emotion, it’s an action.
Luis and I announced our wedding party into the reception: It was such a fun way to explain how we knew people and fun stories and qualities about them!
Ice cream sundae truck: I’m not a fan of cake, but love ice cream! So what better way than to have an ice cream sundae truck with yummy toppings on a hot summer day! (Also, I got lots of funny looks when buying 30 cans of whipped cream at Walmart!)
No alcohol: It didn't stop people from having fun on the dance floor!
A guest list of 500 people: this felt a little bit insane, but around 300 people came and it was so much fun!
We planted a tree as our send-off: We planted a dogwood tree on my parents' property to symbolize the starting of our new family and growing roots! Then several important pastors in our lives prayed over us.

Planting our tree!

The Details
The details were really just for me, no one else. It brought me joy knowing that the details were to make me happy and just for fun. It didn’t matter what others thought, or even if they saw them. Some of my favorite details were the following –

I walked down the aisle to "Liz on Top of the World" from Pride and Prejudice. Even though I abhor being called Liz, I LOVE this song and have always wanted to walk down the aisle to it. The Pride and Prejudice movie soundtrack is one of my favorites of all times!
I wrapped bark around my bouquet. I used daisies as my flowers and with the floral help of my wonderful friend Raven, we gathered pine and other greens to put in the bouquet. Raven did an amazing job of wrapping it in tree bark then adding a bit of lace to the top to hold it all together!
I had a vine painted on my accent nail. I have short nails and didn’t want fake nails, but still wanted my hands to look nice for pictures. Thanks to the lady at the salon, I went with a neutral cream/pink and then she painted a vine up my nail.
The ring box our ring bearer carried was made out of a tree trunk in Ukraine and wood burned with our names and wedding date.
Map Shoes and Tie. We love to travel, so I found the perfect map Mary Janes with Colombia (where we met!) on the toes! These shoes were incredibly comfortable the entire day! No blisters and lots of dancing!! Luis got a map themed tie to wear.

“In case of (e)motion sickness” bags: Included tissues and mints for the ceremony!

There were many other small details, but these were just some of my favorites!

It’s All Fun and Games
If there could be a blooper reel for the wedding, it would be hysterical. There were so many moments throughout the process of wedding planning and the actual day that I am so thankful I can look back on and laugh at. I kept joking, “It’s all fun and games until…” so here we go!

It’s all fun and games until my car breaks and I can’t shift into reverse while I’m running wedding errands. This left me stranded in a parking lot until AAA came for my car and my aunt came to pick me up. Good thing I had a picnic blanket, I just laid under a tree and relaxed!

It’s all fun and games until the day before the wedding a bridesmaid makes a Staples run to pick up the programs and we learn that the template didn’t save correctly and now I have 175 totally wrong programs. I’ll admit, when I got the call, I almost started to hyperventilate but calmed myself down with “They are just programs. They are just programs,” and all was well. Thank goodness for the sweet lady at Staples who waited for the corrected order to come in and rush printed them in 30 minutes!

It’s all fun and games until the flower girls go haywire. My maid of honor sister Rachel was on kid corral and she did awesome! If you are going to have little kids in your wedding, you have to be prepared for the unexpected. Minutes before I was to walk down the altar, my littlest niece Hailey started throwing a fit as she waited in line. She kept going “Elizabet, Elizabet!” and wanted me to hold her. With the procession of bridesmaids already starting down the aisle, there was no way to sneak her up front with her mom. With the help of a lollipop and my other flower girls, we got her down the aisle. As I started down the aisle, my sister scooped Hailey up and handed her over to her parents. It’s never boring with a 2-year-old around!

It’s all fun and games until you have to hold in laughter during sacred communion. As Luis and I solemnly took communion of grape juice and tortillas, I saw a tiny hand sneaking up to grab a piece of tortilla. As fast as that hand came up, my sister was faster and snatched Kynleigh back from eating it. It took everything I had not to shake with laughter!

It’s all fun and games until it’s picture time and we can’t find people to complete the large group pictures. All of my organization went out the window with pictures, and just as we’d get 15 people in place, we’d be missing one to complete them. Not going to lie, I was pretty stressed out, but thanks to a serious conversation with my beloved (and getting some tears out of my eyes!) they went better and I had a lot of fun!

To Sum It Up
It was a gorgeous, incredible, joy-filled day in the woods with the people I love the most. I didn’t cry or feel nervous, my heart was just so full! I loved looking around and seeing people dance and eat ice cream and laugh and meet others. I loved getting to meet Luis’ extended family and friends.

My advice to brides:

know what you REALLY want and flex on the rest
the bride sets the attitude of the whole event, have fun and don't be neurotic!
expect things to not go right, and roll with them as they come
Have FUN!
Put more energy into your upcoming marriage than the wedding. Premarital counseling is fantastic! Even in the wedding planning process, date your person. Not everything has to be wedding related all the time.
If everything doesn't get done, the things that don't get done probably weren't that important anyway. Let it go!
ASK FOR HELP. Put pride aside and ask people for help. Have a friend that's great at lettering? Ask them to help with table letters. Have a family member who has something cool you want to borrow? Ask! You don't know if you don't ask! I definitely couldn't have pulled off this wedding without the help of a lot of people doing what they love to do!

But here’s the thing – a wedding is one day. A beautiful magical day, but one day. I’d rather put my time and energy into my marriage then to look at the wedding as the greatest day of my life. That implies that it’s only downhill from here. But it’s not. This is just the beginning of the incredible story God has for Luis and I and our life together.