In light of eternity.
I happened to see a tattoo someone had of these four words lately and they have been seared into my mind and soul ever since.
Yet, my heart was still hurt as I listened to frustrations among adults (and occasionally campers) and witnessed upset body language and tears, and even in my own response to some situations.
So, I cried. And I processed hurt and anger and frustration and laughter and silliness and sweet moments. And I thought about and discussed problem-solving and conflict resolution skills.
We all feel so many emotions, and then in a camp full of hurt children and adults learning grace every day, everything is amplified. How do we process and grow??
Judas betrayed Him.
His disciples fell asleep while they were supposed to be praying for him.
Peter denied knowing Him.
Jesus got mocked by a crowd of angry Jews.
His body was a beaten and bloody public spectacle.
Jesus got mocked while hanging on the cross.
He extended forgiveness to a criminal beside him.
And His last words before death and resurrection? “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
Jesus experienced many emotions in the journey to the cross. Just read Luke 22-24.
Imagining how I respond to daily crises; I can’t even comprehend knowing how I would process dying a horrible death for something I hadn’t even done. But those four words – In light of eternity – were the focus of Jesus as he walked through everything He did FOR US.
1. We focus on our relationship with the Father.
Seek Him. In all things.
In Luke 22:42, Jesus says, “Father, if you are willing, remove this come from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done…” and God sent him an angel to strengthen him…and then “being in agony, he prayed more earnestly…”
When we seek God’s perspective on things, we gain wisdom, we are able to see the whole picture not just our tiny perspective, and we learn how to extend grace to others.
2. We take time to process our emotions in a healthy way.
As someone who teaches children self-regulation skills and how to process and express emotions in healthy ways, few things make me more frustrated than adults who manage emotions unhealthily. Two examples of this would be spewing everything all the time and expressing nothing. Both lead to resentment and hurt relationships.
I tell my work kids all the time, “You are allowed to be angry. Sometimes Ms. Elizabeth gets angry too. But can I just go around punching people and screaming at people when I get angry? No, I have to learn healthy ways to feel angry. Sometimes that means listening to music or exercising. Other times I have to think about what is causing me to be so angry.”
Anger. Sadness. Joy. Disgust. Fear. Trust. Surprise. We are allowed to feel these – one at a time or all at once. God created them. But we have to monitor them and express them appropriately.
If I am hurt with my husband for something, I have to pull back and process what exactly I’m feeling and why I’m feeling that way. If I go to him immediately, I am more likely to spew all the emotions out and hurt him in the process. When I take time to process before I go to him, I am able to appropriately express how I am feeling and we are able to figure out a way to compromise.
“Feel the feeling, but don’t become it. Witness it. Allow it. Release it.” – Crystal Andrus
3. Be willing to grow and be challenged.
We need to have a team of people around us who challenge us to be the best version of ourselves: that love us with all of our flaws, but also speak truth to us.
Proverbs 27:6 – “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.”
2 Peter 3:18 - "But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen.”
We need to thank and appreciate those kinds of friends in our lives. And if we don’t have that, we need to weed out who we let into our inner circle.
As my awesome friend Deborah says, “Boundaries are a love language!”
4. Strive for peace with others
We have people around us for a reason. They challenge us, love us, encourage us, infuriate us. Ultimately, we decide to either learn and grow or hold resentment. Have the hard, honest conversations. Be intentional to love and encourage those around you. Unite, do not divide. Forgive and extend grace.
Romans: 12:9-21 is aptly titled “Marks of the True Christian.”
• Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.
• Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.
• Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord.
• Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.
• Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.
• Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.
• Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.
• Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.
• Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.
• If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
• Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”
• To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Romans 8:18 - "For I consider the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us."
And to keep fighting the battle? It is worth it. In light of eternity.
I happened to see a tattoo someone had of these four words lately and they have been seared into my mind and soul ever since.
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This past week, I had the honor of serving at Royal Family Kids' Camp - a camp for kids in the foster care/ child and youth services system. Camper wise - it was our smoothest year yet. The behaviors were all manageable and no one was extremely unsafe throughout the week. My campers did so well, demonstrating newly acquired processing skills and being easily guided into right choices. The first annual talent show I had the privilege of emceeing was incredible and so much fun as the kids demonstrated various talents they had.Yet, my heart was still hurt as I listened to frustrations among adults (and occasionally campers) and witnessed upset body language and tears, and even in my own response to some situations.
So, I cried. And I processed hurt and anger and frustration and laughter and silliness and sweet moments. And I thought about and discussed problem-solving and conflict resolution skills.
We all feel so many emotions, and then in a camp full of hurt children and adults learning grace every day, everything is amplified. How do we process and grow??
-----------------------------------------------
Jesus’ journey to the cross was full of people against him and of his friends not knowing how to help him, and even at times, letting him down.Judas betrayed Him.
His disciples fell asleep while they were supposed to be praying for him.
Peter denied knowing Him.
Jesus got mocked by a crowd of angry Jews.
His body was a beaten and bloody public spectacle.
Jesus got mocked while hanging on the cross.
He extended forgiveness to a criminal beside him.
And His last words before death and resurrection? “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
Jesus experienced many emotions in the journey to the cross. Just read Luke 22-24.
Imagining how I respond to daily crises; I can’t even comprehend knowing how I would process dying a horrible death for something I hadn’t even done. But those four words – In light of eternity – were the focus of Jesus as he walked through everything He did FOR US.
-----------------------------------------------
How do we keep the eternal our goal as we process emotions and events and navigate life?1. We focus on our relationship with the Father.
Seek Him. In all things.
In Luke 22:42, Jesus says, “Father, if you are willing, remove this come from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done…” and God sent him an angel to strengthen him…and then “being in agony, he prayed more earnestly…”
When we seek God’s perspective on things, we gain wisdom, we are able to see the whole picture not just our tiny perspective, and we learn how to extend grace to others.
2. We take time to process our emotions in a healthy way.
As someone who teaches children self-regulation skills and how to process and express emotions in healthy ways, few things make me more frustrated than adults who manage emotions unhealthily. Two examples of this would be spewing everything all the time and expressing nothing. Both lead to resentment and hurt relationships.
I tell my work kids all the time, “You are allowed to be angry. Sometimes Ms. Elizabeth gets angry too. But can I just go around punching people and screaming at people when I get angry? No, I have to learn healthy ways to feel angry. Sometimes that means listening to music or exercising. Other times I have to think about what is causing me to be so angry.”
Anger. Sadness. Joy. Disgust. Fear. Trust. Surprise. We are allowed to feel these – one at a time or all at once. God created them. But we have to monitor them and express them appropriately.
If I am hurt with my husband for something, I have to pull back and process what exactly I’m feeling and why I’m feeling that way. If I go to him immediately, I am more likely to spew all the emotions out and hurt him in the process. When I take time to process before I go to him, I am able to appropriately express how I am feeling and we are able to figure out a way to compromise.
“Feel the feeling, but don’t become it. Witness it. Allow it. Release it.” – Crystal Andrus
3. Be willing to grow and be challenged.
We need to have a team of people around us who challenge us to be the best version of ourselves: that love us with all of our flaws, but also speak truth to us.
Proverbs 27:6 – “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.”
2 Peter 3:18 - "But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen.”
We need to thank and appreciate those kinds of friends in our lives. And if we don’t have that, we need to weed out who we let into our inner circle.
As my awesome friend Deborah says, “Boundaries are a love language!”
4. Strive for peace with others
We have people around us for a reason. They challenge us, love us, encourage us, infuriate us. Ultimately, we decide to either learn and grow or hold resentment. Have the hard, honest conversations. Be intentional to love and encourage those around you. Unite, do not divide. Forgive and extend grace.
Romans: 12:9-21 is aptly titled “Marks of the True Christian.”
• Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.
• Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.
• Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord.
• Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.
• Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.
• Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.
• Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.
• Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.
• Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.
• If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
• Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”
• To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
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My challenge to us is – Keep the focus: In light of eternity. Let us not waste our time on things that do not matter, but live vulnerably and wholeheartedly loving others. When the hard times hit, which they do and will, keep moving forward with your eyes on the goal.Romans 8:18 - "For I consider the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us."
And to keep fighting the battle? It is worth it. In light of eternity.
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