It never gets easier…learning one of my students has been put into in-patient psychiatric…learning about the trauma…to read the paperwork…learning about what my students face at home...having conversations about why dad is in jail and why we can’t talk about bio mom. It never gets easier to have raw conversations about choices – how drinking and driving could easily destroy lives; how unbridled and undealt-with anger can rage out of control faster than wildfire; how even though mom can’t take care of you now and that’s why you are in foster care, you still have to make the choice to be kind to others; how suicide and death are final.
It sucks. It’s raw and real. It's not fair. Every conversation breaks my heart. Every situation makes me weep inside.
Why? Why? Why?
I could spend millions of years asking this question. Wondering why innocent kids get the brunt of drugs and rape and torture. Wondering why the cycle continues in families.
Then I look around and see the adults – who’s coping, who’s struggling, who’s healed. Who’s learned what true freedom looks like despite the past. Second chances. Bold vulnerability. Hope carriers.
The mind is a beautiful thing, but unhealed it brings pain, suffering, and death.
But HOPE changes things.
One of the greatest lessons I learned during my fieldwork working in a psychiatric hospital was this – I am not a savior, but I am a carrier of hope. In fact, those words left my mouth one day when one of my clients was begging me to get them off the ward and back with their family. I couldn’t get them out of the hospital, but I could bring a smile onto the ward and love and play card games and carry hope. I still read the cards my clients wrote me during that time and remember the hugs they freely gave.
That is why I fight. Why I’m passionate about mental health. Why my love of God and people overpowers my fear and disgust of the darkness. Why in this season of hope, awareness to others is key because grief is there. Trauma exists, but so does healing. Hope and grief can coexist. Resilience is possible.
Does it get easier? No. Is the fight worth it? Yes, because people are.
In this Advent season, may the themes ring loud and clear – hope, peace, joy, love.
In this season of hope, may we be carriers. Openhanded and holding grief and healing, hope and resilience.
In this season of peace, we have a charge to fight. FOR people. Not against them.
Isaiah 61 declares,
“The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to bring good news to the poor;
he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim liberty to the captives,
and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor,
and the day of vengeance of our God;
to comfort all who mourn;
to grant to those who mourn in Zion—
to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit;
that they may be called oaks of righteousness,
the planting of the LORD, that he may be glorified.
They shall build up the ancient ruins;
they shall raise up the former devastations;
they shall repair the ruined cities,
the devastations of many generations.
Strangers shall stand and tend your flocks;
foreigners shall be your plowmen and vinedressers;
but you shall be called the priests of the LORD;
they shall speak of you as the ministers of our God;
you shall eat the wealth of the nations,
and in their glory you shall boast.
Instead of your shame there shall be a double portion;
instead of dishonor they shall rejoice in their lot;
therefore in their land they shall possess a double portion;
they shall have everlasting joy.
For I the LORD love justice;
I hate robbery and wrong;
I will faithfully give them their recompense,
and I will make an everlasting covenant with them.
Their offspring shall be known among the nations,
and their descendants in the midst of the peoples;
all who see them shall acknowledge them,
that they are an offspring the LORD has blessed.
I will greatly rejoice in the LORD;
my soul shall exult in my God,
for he has clothed me with the garments of salvation;
he has covered me with the robe of righteousness,
as a bridegroom decks himself like a priest with a beautiful headdress,
and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
For as the earth brings forth its sprouts,
and as a garden causes what is sown in it to sprout up,
so the Lord GOD will cause righteousness and praise
to sprout up before all the nations.”
In this season of joy, may we learn what celebration looks like and invite others in. May we open our hearts and our doors. May we be aware of those on the outside looking in, and invite them in.
In this season of love, may we be filled to the brim with supernatural love. The kind of love that enables us to walk in dark places with people. To love angry, mean, hurt people. It took a supernatural love as I learned to show love to a sex offender after years of hating them in my heart due to my passion for at-risk kids. It takes a supernatural love to gracefully speak truth into the lives of loved ones. It took a supernatural love for God to come to earth in human form as a vulnerable baby, as boys around him were being slaughtered in jealous hopes of killing the King.
In this season of Advent, may we truly learn the meaning of anticipation and learn how to carry into every facet of our lives all our days.
“The Lord is coming, always coming. When you have ears to hear and eyes to see, you will recognize him at any moment of your life. Life is Advent; life is recognizing the coming of the Lord.” – Henri Nouwen
It sucks. It’s raw and real. It's not fair. Every conversation breaks my heart. Every situation makes me weep inside.
Why? Why? Why?
I could spend millions of years asking this question. Wondering why innocent kids get the brunt of drugs and rape and torture. Wondering why the cycle continues in families.
Then I look around and see the adults – who’s coping, who’s struggling, who’s healed. Who’s learned what true freedom looks like despite the past. Second chances. Bold vulnerability. Hope carriers.
The mind is a beautiful thing, but unhealed it brings pain, suffering, and death.
But HOPE changes things.
One of the greatest lessons I learned during my fieldwork working in a psychiatric hospital was this – I am not a savior, but I am a carrier of hope. In fact, those words left my mouth one day when one of my clients was begging me to get them off the ward and back with their family. I couldn’t get them out of the hospital, but I could bring a smile onto the ward and love and play card games and carry hope. I still read the cards my clients wrote me during that time and remember the hugs they freely gave.
That is why I fight. Why I’m passionate about mental health. Why my love of God and people overpowers my fear and disgust of the darkness. Why in this season of hope, awareness to others is key because grief is there. Trauma exists, but so does healing. Hope and grief can coexist. Resilience is possible.
Does it get easier? No. Is the fight worth it? Yes, because people are.
In this Advent season, may the themes ring loud and clear – hope, peace, joy, love.
In this season of hope, may we be carriers. Openhanded and holding grief and healing, hope and resilience.
In this season of peace, we have a charge to fight. FOR people. Not against them.
Isaiah 61 declares,
“The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to bring good news to the poor;
he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim liberty to the captives,
and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor,
and the day of vengeance of our God;
to comfort all who mourn;
to grant to those who mourn in Zion—
to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit;
that they may be called oaks of righteousness,
the planting of the LORD, that he may be glorified.
They shall build up the ancient ruins;
they shall raise up the former devastations;
they shall repair the ruined cities,
the devastations of many generations.
Strangers shall stand and tend your flocks;
foreigners shall be your plowmen and vinedressers;
but you shall be called the priests of the LORD;
they shall speak of you as the ministers of our God;
you shall eat the wealth of the nations,
and in their glory you shall boast.
Instead of your shame there shall be a double portion;
instead of dishonor they shall rejoice in their lot;
therefore in their land they shall possess a double portion;
they shall have everlasting joy.
For I the LORD love justice;
I hate robbery and wrong;
I will faithfully give them their recompense,
and I will make an everlasting covenant with them.
Their offspring shall be known among the nations,
and their descendants in the midst of the peoples;
all who see them shall acknowledge them,
that they are an offspring the LORD has blessed.
I will greatly rejoice in the LORD;
my soul shall exult in my God,
for he has clothed me with the garments of salvation;
he has covered me with the robe of righteousness,
as a bridegroom decks himself like a priest with a beautiful headdress,
and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
For as the earth brings forth its sprouts,
and as a garden causes what is sown in it to sprout up,
so the Lord GOD will cause righteousness and praise
to sprout up before all the nations.”
In this season of joy, may we learn what celebration looks like and invite others in. May we open our hearts and our doors. May we be aware of those on the outside looking in, and invite them in.
In this season of love, may we be filled to the brim with supernatural love. The kind of love that enables us to walk in dark places with people. To love angry, mean, hurt people. It took a supernatural love as I learned to show love to a sex offender after years of hating them in my heart due to my passion for at-risk kids. It takes a supernatural love to gracefully speak truth into the lives of loved ones. It took a supernatural love for God to come to earth in human form as a vulnerable baby, as boys around him were being slaughtered in jealous hopes of killing the King.
In this season of Advent, may we truly learn the meaning of anticipation and learn how to carry into every facet of our lives all our days.
“The Lord is coming, always coming. When you have ears to hear and eyes to see, you will recognize him at any moment of your life. Life is Advent; life is recognizing the coming of the Lord.” – Henri Nouwen
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