A Year into Marriage: Anniversary Reflections


On a sunny morning a year ago, much like the one today, I woke up very early. Quietly, I crept past my sleeping beauty bridesmaids and tiptoed into my dad's office. Sitting in his comfy office chair, I read the letter that Luis wrote to me. The beloved man who would be my husband in less than a few hours. My heart was so full of gratitude for Luis, my family, my soon-to-be family, and all the friends and loved ones supporting us in the journey. In those quiet moments, I breathed deeply, and prayed over the day and our marriage. 

After a bit of time, I slipped back upstairs and we all started getting ready for the wedding. Hair pins and curlers everywhere. Coffee brewing. Laughter and giggling. Conversations about antibiotics and the affect on birth control. Peeking out and seeing early guests. 

I slipped on my lacy dress and my dear friend Bethany buttoned the tiny little buttons up. I came out laughingly and showing off to my bridal party and family. I hugged my mom and mother-in-love. My brother-in-laws came up the stairs whistling at me and hugging me. The joy filling the air was tangible! 

Carefully I picked up my long train and headed out to the woods where the ceremony was going to be held. I posed for pictures alone and with my bridesmaids (well, the ones that were done getting ready anyways), and took in the smell of the trees. I snuck back into the carriage house and the wait began. The nervousness of anticipation came a little bit, but quickly settled down as my bridesmaids read letters to me and we laughed and teared up together. 

Soon, with most of the people seated and ready, we all lined up to begin the wooded walk. As the couples walked down the aisle, my 2 year old niece Hailey kept saying, "Elisabet! Elisabet!" and wanting me to hold her. I honestly thought I was going to have to carry her down when I walked. But a red tootsie pop saved the day and she walked down with the other 2 flower girls. 

As my dad and I stood behind the flowing curtain that was escorting me partway down the aisle, we briefly talked but mostly just smiled. "Liz on Top of the World" started to play and then began the walk to my future. The curtains pulled apart. With a big smile on my face, I walked. I looked down and saw my sister (maid of honor) quickly handing my niece Hailey to her dad across the aisle and I laughed at the unpredictability of kids, then I looked at my groom and watched his face until I stood at the altar with him. 

The ceremony was incredible - we worshiped, took part in communion (and caught one of my flower girls trying to sneak some! 😂), washed each others' feet, and slipped rings on - committing until death do us part. 

The reception was what I imagine heaven is going to be like - all shades of beautiful skin colors, different nationalities and languages, laughing, dancing, and celebrating! I can see why Jesus's first miracle was turning water into wine at a wedding - He knew the significance of celebration! My dad and I surprised everyone with a rock-n-roll themed first dance. We ate ice cream from the ice cream truck and took pictures with our friends. And we danced, oh how we danced! We got into a big circle on the dance floor and partied and sweated and laughed. My dirty wedding dress hem was evidence of all the fun! 

After awhile, we planted a tree, got prayed over by some of our pastors and spiritual fathers, and then journeyed off to begin our new life together! 


But, the story doesn't end there.

A few weekends ago, I was at my parents' home and walking through the spot in the woods where we had the wedding. It took weeks and weeks of mulching and weed-whacking and painting and yard work and mowing to prepare the property for the wedding. A year later, the grass has grown back up in the woods, the trees are trimmed no longer, and the woods have transformed into how they are in daily life - messy and beautiful all at once. 

It struck me that that is how this year has been. The wedding was a beautiful day full of frills and fun, but daily life? It's just as beautiful in a deeper, quieter way. 

You see, a wedding is one day, while a marriage covenant keeps going and growing. 

This past year has been one of learning and humility and asking forgiveness even when I don't feel like it; full of adventures and road trips and car problems; dishes and dancing in the kitchen; prayers and snuggles in bed. 

Some things I've learned in the first year of marriage: 
  • I married up. My husband is the most patient person that I know. Honestly, he has to be to put up with me all day, every day. He is a leader, brave, kind, hilarious 
  • I am a selfish person by nature and have to keep working hard to listen and make space for my husband. 
  • I'm still an adventure junkie - just now, I have someone to take with me and to say, "Elizabeth, you are standing too close to the edge of that cliff." 
  • I have the grace needed to navigate racial and cultural differences between Luis and I and the ways we were raised. 
  • The mundane, simple days are often my favorite - morning coffee, reading books, cleaning the house together, talking real estate and big dreams. 
  • I have married into a really fun family! It is so much fun having nieces and a nephew to play with! 
  • I'm not as terrible at speaking Spanish as I thought -- I have a long way to go, but practicing (especially on the listening comprehension)!
  • We don't do well with poison ivy in this house - that was our first trial last summer 😂
  • I truly have a house cleaning partner - I hate to clean and told Luis during pre-marital counseling that we were either going to work together on the household chores, or we were hiring a cleaning lady. Luis has come through and is a master dish-washer, laundry-doer, and floor mopper-sweeper as needed. 
  • Between having summers off + a 3-month quarantine, we have spent A LOT of time together, and we have a lot of fun most days! 
  • It is better to be right with God and each other than to be right just to win an argument.
  • We take risks and process in different ways and need to heed each other's discernment and wisdom on various things, even if it's uncomfortable at first.
  • I will never get used to all the double-parking crazies in Reading!
  • Road trips are an interesting way to get to know each other reallllllly well. 
  • I'm not that hard to please as far as dates go (I thought I would be more high maintenance) - picnics and hikes are my idea of a good time! 
  • Laughter is the best medicine - Luis is hilarious and I love laughing with him over silly things.
Luis, I chose you on June 1st a year ago, I chose you this morning when I woke up, and I choose you everyday! Here is to a lifetime of adventures, laughter, and braving the storms! 

The time I convinced him to pretend we were in the Lion King while in Target

"Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real loves to be silly." - Rose Franken

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