Coffee with Friends - Comparison vs. Community

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Conversations with close friends are a sip of coffee on the tongue - flavorful, strong, comforting, energizing - all at once. Yesterday we met up with friends for breakfast: 3 couples figuring out life, marriage, babies, jobs, dreams. No competition or comparison between us, just appreciating each others' journeys and celebrating the places we are in. The conversations infusing encouragement in our souls as our cold brew coffees were infusing with creamy almond milk. 

The conversations then moved to baseball bleachers at a local park as we watched Luis umpire. Supporting him, supporting each other, and trying not to get hit with foul balls. Listening. Learning. Growing.

After the games, Luis and I left and went to another friend's home. We dug into juicy steaks as we talked with 2 other couples, snuggling children and stepping over toys. The men went coyote hunting while us gals discussed our favorite skin care products and picked out colorful fabric patterns for new shirts. Different conversations, but the same effect. Listening. Learning. Growing.

This is life in community. Days like yesterday just remind me how much I love and crave this. 

But lest you think it just happens upon you like a cooling rainstorm on a hot summer day, it does not.

Oh no, life in community requires self-reflection, confronting comparison and insecurities, commitment, showing up, forgiveness, and effort.

In fact, I think that comparison is the opposite of community. 

Comparison destroys.

Community restores.

Comparison rejects.

Community invites.

Comparison separates.

Community celebrates. 

Comparison feeds poisonous weeds of insecurity.

Community grabs out those weeds by the root and plants flowers.

Comparison breeds offense.

Community teaches forgiveness.

Comparison takes.

Community gives.

We can't ask for holy community if we are unwilling to offer it. If we choose not to offer it, it is no one's fault but our own.

We work on building better community because the reward is greater than the cost. We cultivate it, water it.

 

Choose community.

"Now I'm turning you over to God, our marvelous God, whose gracious Word can make you into what he wants you to be and give you everything you could possibly need in this community of holy friends." - Acts 20:32 (MSG)